matilda-'s Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- goodbye for now Well, Tori left. She needed a break, lucky her she was able to just pick up and leave. Not that it wasn't a hard thing to do because I could tell it was. Family was treating her like shit, friends weren't really her friends and she'd had enough. I wish I could have gone with her. Boo, my cousin who'd gotten kind of close to her, is depressed I can tell. But we both understand Tori and why she couldn't stick around any longer, that was something Tori needed to hear before she left. She'll be back, we just don't know when. Richard left these messeges last night..."call me or we're done"...blah blah. Yeah I called, we talked, I told him I felt like he was settling for me. No more Tori, mom is too sick so I'm the only one left. He wants to come here, he can. I'm not stopping him. But we're not the same. I feel like I'm giving all this love and getting nothing in return. I'm not excited to see him. Will that change once he's here? Or is it too late? Ran outta gas... But I do still love him on some level. I don't even think about the what if's as much. I don't think about having kids with him IF it were to work out. And why does he dislike everything I like? Tristin just called and we're meeting at the Elephant Room for a drink this evening. He's probably going to go back to London, that's my guess. My ear is more plugged today. More later, definitly. 07:45 - Friday, Jul. 12, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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